I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
