He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
