Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
