Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
being pregnant is like rehab
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
