the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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