And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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