Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize