I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize