im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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