the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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