Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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