then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
