Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
