K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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