Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
