so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
