wakey wakey hands off snakey
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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