I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
