And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
