you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
