You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
