ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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