sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
