Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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