If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
