If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize