I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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