just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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