You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
