Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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