If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
time to smoke my breakfast
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
