Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
