AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
