Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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