Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
