You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
