Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
