Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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