Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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