I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
