Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
