I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
