i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
