I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
