Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
