ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
