Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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