OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize