i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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