How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just tell him i said nine months
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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