She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
