He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
