I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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