You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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