why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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