Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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