I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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