I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
