ugly people sure do ruin things
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
