I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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